Is that an oxymoron on what? Barbecue is the most “informal” type of dining ever created, yet there are still “rules” that must be followed if you are planning one, else anarchy and chaos will exist, and barbecues will go the way of the afternoon tea.

• Don’t schedule a barbecue on the same day as a major sporting event. If you do that, your barbecue will be ruined because all of the men will be inside in the living room, watching the event on television - all the while enjoying the food and drinks that you’ve prepared, while the sport widows are watching all of the kids.
• If you want people to bring their own drinks or contribute something to the barbecue, then say so. The majority of people in this world do not have the ability to read minds. But keep in mind that not everyone will bring something “extra” so be sure you’ve got enough food and drinks for everyone anyway.
• If you don’t want people to bring their kids to your “adults-only” barbecue, then say so, several times, well in advance, and send your kids away. Don’t use the excuse that because you’re the host, you’re allowed.
• If you plan a barbecue in your backyard, which also happens to have a swimming pool, accept that people will “assume” that they will be swimming in it. If you’re not prepared to allow swimming, specify that up front. If that’s too embarrassing, then its time to polish the old “we had some crazy bacteria - maybe cholera or something like it - in the swimming pool last week, but we ‘think’ we’ve added enough chlorine to kill it” story.
• Last, but not least, eat before your barbecue - because who knows when you’ll have a chance once the party’s started.